Forty, Love
by Trivea
Summary: L has come back to Wammy's House for a visit, with a purpose Mello doesn't understand and Matt doesn't want to talk about. Mello's only question is, "Why him?" Mainly MelloxMatt among other pairings.
1. Chapter 1

Forty, Love : Chapter One

A Death Note Fanfic

Disclaimers: Uh… this is a mostly MelloxMatt fanfic, but it's also got some… uh… random and in some cases kind of strange pairings, a lot of one-sidedness, and one pairing I've never seen before anywhere, so we're gonna have fun! I'm really, REALLY going to screw with the plotline of Death Note in here, so please don't get angry with me. What the story needs, the story gets! Yay! So… onward. I have really, really long disclaimers…

By the way, the title is what it is for two reasons: 1) tennis seems to be a recurring theme in the DN fandom, and forty – love is a tennis score, and b) I couldn't think of anything better.

Oh, and to dA : Rated… not-under-16 for language. The Y!Gallery will have the uncut version, but can't do that here…

--

"He is such a little bitch."

"Mmm."

"Little albino asshole…"

"Mmm-hmm."

"God, he is such a freak…"

"Yep…"

"Dammit, are you even listening to me?"

"Mmm."

Mello turned quickly, smacking the DS out of Matt's hands. The goggled redhead blinked in surprise before sighing in annoyance, placing his hands on his knees and glaring at the blonde.

"You didn't have to do that."

"You're always paying attention to that damn video game! You can deal!"

Matt stooped, not rising from his perch on the edge of Mello's bed as he picked the fallen electronic up. "Just let me freakin' save, jerkoff," he muttered as he made the little dude land the airship so he could save. Stupid Final Fantasy III with its weird save rules.

"What'd he do now?" Matt asked as he flicked the power switch, closing the DS and placing it on the vest folded on the bed.

"What'd who do now?"

Matt rolled his eyes at Mello's short attention span. "Near. Who else?"

Mello snarled and returned to stalking back and forth with his arms behind his back, forcibly reminding Matt of a wild animal trapped in a cage. "What hasn't he done?" Mello spat, angry green eyes sliding over to meet Matt's goggled ones before turning back to the ground in front of him. "He called me a girl. In the dining hall. In the fucking dining hall!" the blonde continued, his nails making half-moon shapes in his arms as he dug them into the flesh.

"You say that like it's a new development," Matt said quietly, leaning back on his elbows. "He does that all the time; and you know he only does that to get this exact reaction. He wouldn't do it if it didn't piss you off like this. You're just giving him what he wants."

Mello snarled in response, not once slowing in his pacing. He began muttering – Matt could barely pick out such words as 'hate', 'albino', 'freak', 'maim', 'hurt', and 'L'. Matt switched on his Mental Mello Translator (or MMT for short), deciphering the sentence into, "I hate that little albino freak. I'm going to maim him when I see him… he's going to be in a world of hurt. God, when is L coming back…"

Matt sighed and pulled his goggles off, letting them hang around his neck. He was glad to see his MMT was in good working condition as always – but he wanted to know what the hell that last thought had to do with anything else. It wasn't as if L was going to do anything about Near publicly humiliating Mello for about the fourth time this month (keeping in mind that it was only November second), except maybe give him a slap on the wrist.

But when Mello was angry about something, his thoughts always diverted to L.

Always.

Dammit.

"You need to calm down," Matt muttered, getting up and walking over to the dresser. He stepped in Mello's path, forcing the blonde to stop, and held up half of a chocolate bar. "Just sit and eat, okay? I keep telling you not to let Near get to you so bad. It's gonna make you sick one day, ya know."

Mello 'hmph'ed a bit but snatched the chocolate away, sitting on the bed and taking a huge chunk out of it.

"There ya go," Matt muttered, sighing a bit in relief as he resumed his position. For a few minutes, there was nothing but the sound of the ceiling fan, which Mello insisted on leaving on year-round, and the occasional snapping of the chocolate.

"…Matt."

Matt looked up at Mello. Here it was again – he could always tell when Mello wanted to know something when he said his name like that. It was that commanding tone Mello always took with him.

"Yeah?" he asked calmly, closing his eyes.

"Who do you think will get it?"

"…It's not my decision," Matt finally said with a shrug. "It's L's."

Mello sighed and closed his eyes. There was something in that sigh that Matt was sure only he heard – and he hated it. That wistful, longing note that always entered Mello's voice when L was mentioned.

Damn L.

"I guess you're right," Mello muttered, balling up the foil and tossing it across the length of the room. It hit the rim of the trash can, bounced up, and barely landed inside the container. Mello stood and headed for the door.

"I'm going downstairs."

"You do that."

Matt watched him go before standing and walking over to his own bed, which was pressed up against the wall. He knelt on the mattress, leaned over to the window positioned above his bed, and twisted the latch before pulling the pane up, returning to Mello's bed for his DS and vest as a frigid breeze escaped into the room. He knelt in front of the window again, laid the DS down, and pulled a pack of cigarettes he had stolen from the drugstore a couple of days ago from the vest pocket.

People would have a fit if they knew he was smoking.

Even Mello didn't know.

He smiled a little to himself, imagining what Roger's reaction would be if he found out.

Matt lit one of the cigarettes and leaned his elbows on the sill, staring straight down at the lake. Nothing to see but that dim, depressing stretch of grayish-blue water reflecting the watery silverish sun and the stones on the side of the orphanage. He raised his hand to his lips and pulled away the cigarette, blowing a ring of smoke out into the air. The wind swept it away almost before it got a chance to completely form.

Matt left the cigarette between his fingers and crossed his arms, laying his head down on the sill with his arms as sort of a pillow as he looked at the city lights across the lake.

He wanted out.

But he knew Mello would never really let him leave.

--

Mello moodily kicked over a tower of blocks that had been precariously stacked by some snot-nosed brat or another as he stormed through the various rooms in the orphanage. He wasn't in a good mood, and when Mello was in a bad mood, you could be sure as hell that no one else would be cheery, either.

"Feeling pissed, fraulein?" an emotionless voice asked from seemingly nowhere.

Caught off-guard, Mello spun around on his heel, his arms snapping out and one leg extending behind himself to keep his balance. He hadn't realized until too late that he'd wandered into the West Corner; Near's sanctuary. It was the smallest of all the living-room type areas, and contained no furniture except a card table and a chair, in case Near wanted to do a puzzle on the table instead of on the floor.

Near's own private room, given to him by L personally.

Damn albino.

"Don't call me that," Mello growled, clenching his fist as he watched Near's lips curve up into the ghost of a mocking smile at having unbalanced the blonde. Not that knocking Mello off his mental balance was exactly a trying task, per se – it was just fun to do.

The white haired boy slowly moved his hand up to his hair, absently twisting a curl in that damnable way that irritated Mello so much. "What are you going to do about it, pout to your dog?"

Mello snorted and crossed his arms over his chest, the skin where his eyebrows would have been, had he been given any, furrowing together in annoyance. "Don't talk about Matt like that, either, you little bleached midget."

"It just makes you angry because it's true," Near responded, immediately and matter-of-factly, reaching up and placing a Matchbox car at the top of the track he had twisting around him. "Don't get mad at me for pointing out that you treat him like a pet."

"I do no such thing. He's my best friend."

"Uh-huh."

Mello narrowed his eyes, his fingernails creating another set of crescent moon shapes in the flesh of his arms. He didn't know why, but just looking at this little brat pissed him off to no end. He wanted so badly to just punch him in the nose, but then he'd have Roger on his back for God only knew how long.

Even though he hated Near, he knew he shouldn't have said it – but he couldn't help it. Before he even knew he thought it, he heard the words in his voice echo in the room.

"At least I have a friend, you freak."

He left the room before he could see Near's reaction.

The white haired boy watched the blonde retreat, slamming the door behind him. He heard a picture fall off the wall in the hallway, a muttered curse, and a scraping as it was replaced. It would probably be crooked – Mello really had no sense of décor.

Near reached out and placed a hand on the Matchbox car as it sped happily past him, stopping it before it reached its destination of a horrible crash into the wall.

He sat up on his knees, the pattern of the carpet still lightly indented in the white material of the chest and stomach of his shirt.

"He's right," he murmured, looking at the car. "He does have friends… I don't have anybody. But… I don't really care," he added, not even able to convince himself. He sighed and closed his eyes, placing the car at the top of the track again and watching it slowly wind down to the crash.

--

It was November fifth when the car pulled up. As far as Matt was concerned, that's when all the shit started.

He had been playing his DS in the entry hall, sitting on a plush bench situated in a corner. It was there for prospective parents of the children who weren't gifted with Near or Mello's unusual intelligence. After all, it wouldn't be much of an orphanage without the chance of adoption.

Not that any kids really ever got adopted from Wammy's House, anyway.

Matt heard the quiet hum of a car motor and the crackling of gravel as a car rolled into the driveway, stopping in front of the front doors. A car door opened and slammed, and footsteps signified someone was making their way up the stares to the large oak double-doors that made up the orphanage's main entrance.

As the doors swung open, Matt was wholly unsurprised to see who their visitor was – it was really the only man who ever visited Wammy's, besides Watari.

L.

The black haired man strode into the entry hall with his strange gait, his hands shoved in his pockets and his back hunched, as usual. He looked around slowly as Watari closed the door behind him.

Well, he didn't hear Mello's high-pitched screams of joy, which probably meant no one had heard him come in. He proceeded towards the stairs, pausing briefly on the lowest step. "Watari," he said quietly, looking back at the older man. "Would you bring some tea up a little later? I need to do some work before I make my presence known here."

Watari bowed a little. "Of course, sir."

Matt glanced around the doorframe of the room he had slipped into, watching L ascend the stairs. He always got the feeling L didn't especially care for him – why should he? L didn't exactly seem like the type who liked kids, and Matt wasn't one of the detective's precious prodigies, so he really couldn't see any reason for L to be partial to him.

He sighed and stepped around the doorframe, leaning against the wall.

"What's he doing back?"

Watari blinked in surprise, turning to face the hacker.

"I don't think I can tell you that," he said with a wry smile.

Matt snorted. "There's a shock." He pushed off the wall and, walking off, he muttered, "Just make sure he doesn't give Mello a heart attack. All that chocolate's made him very… delicate."

Watari watched the redhead go, a slight frown on his face. He wasn't used to seeing Matt that way – he was usually so laid back. He couldn't help wondering if there was anything wrong…


	2. Chapter 2

Forty, Love : Chapter Two

A Death Note Fanfic

Disclaimers: Uh…same as the last chapter, I guess…

--

L couldn't suppress a small choking noise as Mello flung his arms around the detective's neck in sheer glee.

"I didn't know you were coming back so soon!" Mello exclaimed as he hugged his idol. "You said you weren't coming back until Christmas!"

"Well, obviously I lied," L replied with a small smile, hugging the young prodigy back. Mello grinned into L's shoulder – he knew L was back before Near did. Even something like that was a victory, as far as he was concerned.

"How long are you back for?" Mello asked, finally and slightly reluctantly relinquishing his hold on the older man. He waited breathlessly as L raised his thumb to his lips in thought, his other hand sliding into his pocket. God, why did he have to be so sexy when he did that?!

"I'm not really sure," he finally admitted, smiling a little bit. "I suppose as long as I need to be here, I will. Don't worry, though – it'll be a few weeks, at least."

Mello shot him a suspicious look. "You aren't lying, are you?" he asked slowly, narrowing one eye at him as though inspecting him closely.

L couldn't help laughing – the look on Mello's face was priceless. "No, I'm not lying. Even if I do hear of a case that interests me, I'll start working on it here, up on the fourth floor," he said with a lazy smile, the finger that was usually at his lips pointing up to the ceiling.

"Well… okay," Mello said grudgingly, his face relaxing. L smiled in that same apathetic manner of his, ruffling Mello's hair gently. Mello made a face at him, but didn't say anything.

"Don't worry, Mello," L said reassuringly. "Even when I do leave, I promise I'll come back."

Mello smiled, batting L's hand out of his hair. "I'm gonna hold you to that."

"I know."

--

Near didn't look up as the door of West Corner opened. He didn't look up as he heard footsteps approaching. He did, however, look up as a familiar shadow cast itself over his Lego Knights playset.

"L!" he exclaimed, scrambling to his feet as fast as humanly possible and wrapping his arms around L's waist. The detective smiled and placed one hand on Near's head, wrapping his other arm around the boy's shoulders.

"Hello, Near," he said with a smile as Near pulled away to look at him. L frowned a little as he saw a mostly-faded bruise gracing the albino's jaw line. He reached out and gently touched it, watching Near wince a little bit.

"What happened?" he asked quietly, removing his hand from the bruise.

"I just got hit, that's all," Near muttered, resting his head against L's chest.

"Mello?"

"No, Mello just yells at me, he never hits me."

L sighed a little bit, placing his hand on the back of Near's head again. It was usually inevitable – whenever he came to visit, Near usually had a bruise or two, and he would never say how he got it or who he got it from beyond claiming it wasn't Mello. L wasn't entirely sure he could trust that claim, though – he knew that several clashes of Near's smart mouth and Mello's short temper had nearly ended in one-sided fisticuffs.

"Well… if you say so, fine. But if you ever want to talk, you know where to find me."

"Fourth floor." He felt Near smile a little into his shirt.

"Right, you got it. Just, tonight I have some things I have to do… I want to talk to you, however. I'll call you when I need you."

"Okay."

--

"He's here!!"

"Goody," Matt muttered, barely audible even to himself. Whatever. If L's presence sent Mello into a state of euphoria, so be it. Didn't really matter much to him.

Mello was rummaging through his closet at nearly light-speed, obviously looking for the perfect thing to wear when he went to go see L later. Matt was on his bed, leaning against the window, playing his DS again.

"God, what are you doing?"

"Trying to get my Dragoon up to job level forty, completely ignoring your anal-retentive Dress for L ritual."

Matt ducked as a pillow sailed across the room, smacking the wall where his head had been seconds before. Nothing more fun than flustering Mello right before his big meeting with L.

The blonde had finally found what Matt assumed was the perfect outfit and was in the process of flinging the clothes he had been wearing previously off. Matt didn't watch – Mello was so meticulous in his appearance it made him fidgety. It wasn't like being the best dressed at Wammy's was going to effect L's decision at all; he knew the only reason for Mello's fussiness was his enormous crush on the detective.

Stupid.

Matt couldn't concentrate anymore – he left the dungeon, saved, and flung his DS onto his pillow to watch.

"And you get pissed when Near calls you a girl," he said teasingly. Mello glared at him via the mirror, in the process of running a brush through his hair.

"Shove it," Mello snarled. Matt just laughed and closed his eyes – he was probably the only one who could get away with calling Mello a girl. He knew it wasn't true, except obviously when it came to L… but the blonde was so much fun to piss off. He understood why Near found the activity so enjoyable.

"So do you know when you're going up to The Promised Land yet?" Matt continued to tease, placing his hands behind his head.

"No, and I told you to shove it!" Mello growled, flinging another pillow at Matt. The redhead laughed, catching it.

"If you keep that up, I'm going to have all your pillows, Mello."

A knock on the door silenced both of them. "Come in?" Matt asked unsurely. No one knocked at Wammy's… well, no one except…

Watari opened the door, walking in very dignified. "I bear messages from L," he said calmly. Mello hurried over, and Matt moved to the edge of the bed. Messages? Plural? Was that implying that he had more than one?

Watari did, in fact, have two envelopes in his hand – one with Mello's name on the front, and one with Matt's. Both had the signature 'L' on the back. Watari handed Mello the one addressed to him before walking over to Matt's bed, handing the second envelope to the redhead.

"Good day," Watari said, bowing himself out.

"You got one?" Mello asked, clearly astonished. He and Near were L's candidates; Matt probably hadn't said two consecutive words to the man in his entire life.

"I… guess so. I don't get it either," he shrugged. He slid his finger under the flap as Mello seated himself on the edge of his own bed, tapping the letter down to one end and ripping off the other, sliding the letter onto his palm.

Matt pulled the letter, which smelled vaguely of sugar, out of the envelope, unfolded it, and began to read.

Matt:

I apologize if this seems strange, but I wish to talk to you as well. Please do not tell Mello the contents of this letter, as I am requesting to meet with you before I meet with either him or Near, and I know he would be… displeased if he were to discover this. Please come up to my study on the fourth floor, second door from the right on the landing, at seven o'clock. I know that is your dinner hour, but do not worry – I will have Watari bring something up, and you will eat with me. Thank you for your indulgence.

-L

Matt stared at the short note, blinking a few times in confusion. L wanted Matt… to eat with him? As far as he knew, L never shared his meals with anyone – he had actually heard Mello complain about it a couple of times. He was fairly positive Watari was the only person on the face of the planet that ever saw L eat something other than sweets.

He saw Mello grinning out of the corner of his eye and looked up at him.

"What?" Matt asked, folding the letter up and slipping it into the envelope.

"He wants to meet with me at eight thirty. Score! That's right after dinner! That means he wants to see me first!"

Eight thirty – so L probably wanted to meet with him for about an hour, and then have him leave before Mello got there. Weird.

"Well, good for you," Matt said, putting his hands behind his head and laying down. "You beat Near to the punch again."

"Damn straight," Mello smirked before looking at him. "What'd yours say?" he asked, curious.

"Ah, nothing of importance," he said with a shrug. "It's not like he wants to meet with ME after dinner or anything."

"…L sent you a letter with nothing of importance?" Mello asked in suspicion, arching an eyebrow. Matt nodded. "Well… I didn't think he would want to meet with you… I mean, no offense, but it's not like he has any real attachment to you or anything."

"I know." God, Mello, you don't have to be such a bastard about it.

"Well, come on, it's time for dinner," Mello said; the clock on the wall did, in fact, say six fifty-five.

"I'm not really hungry," Matt said, causing Mello to freeze in mid-rise.

"Huh?" the blonde asked, straightening up. "What do you mean, you aren't hungry?"

"I'm just not. I ate lunch late today, and I just wanna play my video game for a while," Matt responded, reaching for his DS and flicking it on.

"Well… all right," Mello said, a little suspiciously, but turned at left the room.

Matt waited for the door to shut, then flicked the power back off and stood. He walked to the door and cracked it open, peering out and waiting for Mello's head to disappear down the stairs. He then snuck out quietly, hurrying down the hallway as quickly as dignity allowed.

--

L stared thoughtfully at the screen, his thumb tracing his bottom lip as was usual. He wasn't actually taking in any of the information on his computer – he was thinking too much for that.

He wished the boy would have taken his offer… but he had said he didn't want it, and probably didn't want it even now. As it stood, he only had two candidates, but he had wanted three. He had wanted that third very, very badly.

A gentle knock on the door snapped him out of his thoughts. He looked over his shoulder as Watari entered from the connecting room, striding over to the door and opening it.

"Ah," he said before turning his body sideways to allow the boy to enter. "You have a visitor, sir."

"Thank you, Watari. You may go," he said with a gentle smile. He watched the man leave before standing and turning towards the door, his hands sliding into his pockets.

"Matt," L said with a little nod. The clock on the wall was straight-up seven – he was quite the punctual child, wasn't he?

"Hello, sir," Matt said, the address sounding forced and stilted in his mouth. L knew for a fact Matt never addressed anyone like this, not even his teachers or Roger.

L waved a dismissive hand. "Relax, Matt-kun, you're in no trouble."

Matt looked a little surprised, but took the seat he was gestured into. Watari entered shortly after, carrying a large silver tray. He set the tray on the table, placing a plate in front of L, then in front of Matt. "Would you both care for tea?"

Matt saw that L was looking at him expectantly; he flushed a bit and nodded a little at Watari. L smiled and looked up at his semi-butler. "That would be excellent, Watari. If you have any of the chai…"

Watari cut him off with a nod and a bow, exiting the room again. Matt looked down at his plate, unsurprised to see that the fare was much better than the shit they were regularly served in the cafeteria. He and Mello had used the tortillas as virtually indestructible Frisbees before.

L began eating as soon as Watari had poured the tea. Matt followed his lead, trying to keep his hands from shaking as he cut his food. He was nervous – there was no question why; he and L hadn't been alone together since Matt was ten.

-

"_Matt-kun! MATT-KUN!!"_

_Matt looked up from his game as Mello pelted into the room, his face flushed with excitement. "Omigod Matt-kun you so aren't going to believe what just happened to me!!"_

_Matt quirked an eyebrow. "Um…you just got a lifetime supply of hair spray."_

_"…what? No!" Mello said after a pause, leaning over and smacking Matt on the back of the head. He then sighed and clasped his hands together, once again forcefully reminding Matt of a girl. Mello was so manly, even for ten, until L was mentioned. Then, any pretense of testosterone went out the window._

_"L asked me! He asked me!!" he exclaimed, jumping up on his bed. Matt laughed a little at his friend's joy; he had heard that L was going to choose successors, and he knew Mello would probably have slit his wrists if he hadn't been chosen._

_"Near-kun and I are going to both work directly under him," Mello said once he had landed on his knees, then launched himself into a fit of giddy, near-maniacal laughter. He ended up on his side, his face buried in his pillows. Matt could occasionally hear the muffled words, "I did it, I did it," mixed in with the laughter._

_"Good for you," Matt said with a grin. He honestly was glad that Mello had been chosen – after all, it was all Mello had thought about since he was about six, when he had first met L._

_Mello finally calmed down, rolling over onto his back and grasping his sides as he gasped for air, that smile still plastered on his face._

_"…we're still going to be best friends, aren't we, Mello?"_

_"Of course!"_

_Matt smiled. Mello sat up suddenly, a thoughtful expression on his face._

_"But, of course, that means Near and I can't be friends anymore," Mello said matter-of-factly, nodding and crossing his arms over his chest. Matt shot him a confused look, his smile disappearing. Mello, Matt, and Near had always been close – Matt had frequently asked both of their help on his homework in the past._

_"What? Why not? You like Near," Matt said, confused. "You said that if it wasn't for me, Near would be your best friend."_

_"Well, yeah, but not anymore," Mello said, giving Matt a 'what-are-you-stupid?' look. "I mean, for crying out loud, we're rivals now. We can't be friends and both be vying to be L's successor at the same time – that's just impossible."_

_Matt blinked before sighing. He was afraid of this. And now he knew he was going to have to choose sides. Mello would tell him it was all right, he could hang out with Near if he wanted too; but doing so would earn him the cold shoulder for God knows how long. He knew how Mello worked._

_"Okay," Matt said, not wanting to stir up unnecessary conflict. He still wanted to be Near's friend… but… Mello…_

_"Okay what?" Mello asked, blinking._

_Matt had already returned to his video game._

_"We won't hang out with Near anymore."_

_"Right," Mello said with a nod._

_They were both interrupted by a brisk knock on the door. "C'min," Mello said, his grin back on his face. Roger came in, leaving the door open._

_"Congratulations, Mello. I heard about everything from Watari," he said, smiling at the blonde. Mello beamed back._

_"Matt, I need you to come with me."_

_"I didn't do it," Matt said, raising his hands automatically. Roger shook his head._

_"You aren't in trouble. I just need you to come with me."_

_"…okay…" Matt said uncertainly, standing and making to follow the older man. He glanced over his shoulder at Mello, who drew a line over his throat with his index finger, grinning evilly. Matt stuck his tongue out at him, but made no other response as he shut the door behind him._

_Roger led him to the stairs, but instead of going down to his office, he took him up in the direction of the third floor. Matt was confused – why was he going up to the little kid's floor? – and grew even more so as they went up past the third floor towards the fourth. The fourth floor, which only ever held one occupant._

_L's floor._

_Roger stopped in front of the second door from the right, knocking in his usual brisk manner. Watari opened the door, standing aside for them to enter. Roger, however, took his place._

_"L wants to speak with you, Matt," he said instead, looking at the redhead._

_It took a moment for this to register with Matt. As soon as it did, he hurried inside, hearing the door shut quietly behind him._

_"Matt-kun," the apathetic voice said from the chair in front of the computer. "Please, take a seat."_

_Matt walked to the other vacant chair at the table, gingerly sitting down. L wasn't looking at him – he was focused on something on his screen. After a minute, he turned to look at Matt and smiled._

_"Don't look so nervous," the detective said. "As Roger has undoubtedly already informed you, you are in no kind of trouble. I merely have a question to ask you."_

_Matt straightened unconsciously, his hands gripping his knees. He wanted to ask him something? L wanted to ask Matt something?! What was wrong with this picture?_

_"A-All right," Matt stuttered, mentally slapping himself. What the hell was his problem? L wasn't going to eat his heart or anything. As far as he knew._

_"I'll get to the point," L said, looking seriously at Matt. "Would you consider being one of my successors?" Matt almost answered immediately, but L raised his hand. "I want to remind you that this is completely voluntary, but once you accept, you will be unable to back out of it. I don't know when my life might come to an end, and if you accept and I choose you, I don't want you backing out at the last minute. Think about it for a minute, please."_

_Matt forced himself to settle back in his chair and stared down at his hands. Of course he wanted to be L's successor. That was the dream of every kid who was in Wammy's House – L was their idol, practically a god to them. He was absolutely everything they all dreamed of being._

_But, upon thinking about it, there was more than that – there was so much more than that. It would be dangerous, and it would be hard – everything that he did from that point on would be judged through the eyes of someone looking not at Matt, and not at Mail Jeevas, but at the next L. At the assumed 'M' who would solve everything once L was gone._

_…but he would have said yes… if it wasn't for…_

_He remembered Mello. He couldn't be Near's friend anymore because they were both L's successors. Which meant that if Matt accepted, he could no longer be Mello's friend._

_He could live without being the next L._

_He couldn't live without Mello._

_"I… I'm sorry," Matt finally said, his fingers clutching the cloth in his jeans and making sharp wrinkles in the material. "I… I can't. I know I couldn't compete with Near and Mello… and Mello already told me that you've picked both of them."_

_L studied Matt seriously, frowning a bit. "Are you positive? I wouldn't have asked you if I didn't feel you would be more than up to par with the two of them."_

_Matt nodded, still not looking at L. "I'm positive. I can't. I'm sorry."_

_L sighed before nodding. "All right, Matt-kun. I'm just glad you were honest with me," he added, putting emphasis on the word 'honest'. Matt flushed uncomfortably, his ears turning the color of his hair, as he nodded again._

_Matt had left the room soon after, without much adieu. He returned to the room, where he managed to convince Mello that he was just talking to Roger about his studies._

_He and L hardly spoke again._

-

That is, they hardly spoke again until now.

Watari was in the process of taking away the plates as Matt thought, mulling over past events in his mind. Whenever possible, he had avoided L, wanting to avoid any further questioning of this sort, and any suspicion on Mello's part.

As far as the whole orphanage was concerned, Mello and Near were the only ones L ever asked to be successors.

He hadn't seen any reason to give them cause to think otherwise, and apparently L hadn't had any need to go out of his way to talk to Matt.

Until now, of course.

"I suppose you know why you're here," L said, breaking the silence suddenly.

Matt blinked behind his goggles, looking up at the detective who had always, secretly, been his idol.

He thought he did. He hoped he did. He had been trying to think of a way that he could talk to L about Mello and Near, because he knew L would never tell them anything that he said. He wanted to talk to him. He even wanted him to ask Matt to be his successor again, even though Matt's answer wouldn't change.

He wanted everything to go back to the way it had been.

"No," he merely said, shaking his head.

L smiled. "I know that's a lie. But, I'll tell you anyway." He sighed and leaned over, picking a lollipop off the table and slipping the plastic off the candy. He placed it in his mouth thoughtfully, as though trying to think of the best way to phrase his next thought.

"First, I can tell that something, or perhaps many things, have been bothering you. I've noticed ever since the last time we spoke like this. It's something you were afraid to tell me last time, but I do want you to know that you can tell me anything."

L stopped, biting off half the candy with a sharp snap. Matt didn't speak.

"But we can talk about that in a minute, if you're at all willing."

Matt nodded, watching as L laid the candy back on the plastic wrapper beside his computer.

"Before that…"

Matt was startled as L leaned forward, gently pulling Matt's goggles down his face and leaving them hanging around his neck. As they moved down his face, Matt felt L's fingertips brushed his cheek, a little cold from the temperature of the room. He wanted to back away, but didn't dare – it was probably just an accident.

"I want to offer you the position of successor again."

--


	3. Chapter 3

Forty, Love : Chapter Three

A Death Note Fanfic

Disclaimers: Really, nothing different.

--

"_What was that all about?"_

_Matt smiled at Mello as he returned to the room. A little of Mello's giddy excitement had died down, but he still had the flushed glow of victory on his cheeks._

_"Roger just needed to talk to me, that's all."_

_"So you weren't in trouble?"_

_"Nope. Not in trouble at all."_

_Mello laughed a little. "That's a first. It kinda seems like we're always in trouble," he added with a grin._

_"Psh, you'll never be in trouble anymore," Matt said, sitting back on his bed. "I mean, you're L's prodigy," he said, grinning a bit. "I don't think you're ever going to get yelled at ever again."_

_"I doubt it. I think Roger's heart would explode if he didn't get to yell at me once in a while." Matt laughed, and Mello looked at the clock. "It's nearly dinnertime. Let's go."_

_"So… where are we going to sit, since we aren't friends with Near-k… Near anymore?"_

_"I'm gonna sit where I usually do; he can find a new seat," the blonde said with a shrug and without a trace of guilt. Matt sighed a bit, feeling bad about this, but unwilling to lose Mello's trust._

_They walked down the hallway, Mello earning a considerable amount of jealous looks. L's choice of heirs was top-secret; therefore, the entire orphanage had found out about it within five minutes of the decision._

_Mello was ignoring them, but Matt couldn't help hearing mutters. And they weren't all about Mello, either._

_"Damn blonde. Who does he think he is?"_

_"Why the hell did L choose them? Why not someone older?"_

_"What about that redheaded kid that's always tagging along with them?"_

_"I heard he wasn't smart enough. I bet L doesn't even know he exists. He's just Mello's lap dog, ya know."_

_"I bet he just hangs around them to feel smarter. He must be a real moron."_

_Matt clenched his fist and started to turn around; Mello's hand on his upper arm stopped him._

_"Ignore them," Mello said, loudly enough for the other kids to hear. "They're just jealous; don't waste energy on them unless they attack you first. Oh, don't forget you promised to help me on my Science after dinner, Matt-kun. I still don't get balancing equations."_

_Matt looked at Mello, who was smiling in a strangely soothing way. Matt thought that was a little ridiculous – he sucked at balancing equations, and Mello was constantly having to walk him through it – but he smiled back, and nodded. "Okay," he said, his smile getting bigger._

_He was positive he had the best friend in the world._

_They went through the line at the dining hall, Matt dragging Mello to the back of the line to cut off his urge to try to break in front of the older kids._

_"Just wait in line, stupid. It's not like it takes that long," he muttered, firmly holding Mello's shoulders to keep him in place. They got their strange, colorless glop, Mello grabbed some chocolate bars which were usually the only thing on his tray he touched (except on Taco Tuesday), and they went to their usual table. Matt saw that Near was close to the end of the line; he pulled out his GameBoy Color and switched it on, Tetris a perfect excuse to ignore the impending conversation._

_"Hi, Mello-kun, Matt-kun," Near said as he approached._

_Matt didn't say anything. Mello looked at Near._

_"You can't sit with us anymore," the blonde said matter-of-factly. "And you can't call us '-kun' anymore. We aren't friends now, Near."_

_"…what?" Near asked, genuinely confused. "What are you talking about?"_

_Mello rolled his eyes. "We can't be friends anymore. I mean, we're both vying to be L's successors, right?"_

_"Well… yeah, but… I thought maybe we could, you know…"_

_"What? Help each other?"_

_Near nodded, at a loss for words._

_"Don't be stupid, Near." Near stared at Mello, a little shocked. "If I give you any help, that'll basically be undermining my efforts to become L. That's ridiculous. There's no solution but for us to become rivals, obviously."_

_"…why are you being like this?" Near asked quietly. Matt winced at his voice – he sounded near tears._

_"I already explained it, and if you don't get it, you probably aren't fit to be L." Mello reached for a chocolate bar, signifying the end of the conversation. Near looked at Matt, desperate for some backup, but he didn't look up from his GameBoy._

_Near turned and walked away._

_Matt felt sick._

_"Why are we doing this, Mello-kun?"_

_Mello looked at him. "Doing what?"_

_"Doing this to Near. He doesn't have any other friends. I… I don't like this…"_

_Mello glared at him. "If you don't like it, why don't you just go hang out with him?" he spat venomously._

_Matt looked up in surprise. "That's not what I meant," he said, a little hurt. "I just…"_

_"You just what?"_

_"…never mind. It's nothing, really."_

--

The dining hall was so fucking loud. He wished Matt had come with him.

Mello shoved past a group of smaller kids, elbowing them back in the line as he grabbed a tray. One of the potentially richest orphanages in town, and they still ate like in a school cafeteria.

"Hey!" one of the younger boys exclaimed as he was shoved back. "We were here first!"

Mello blinked before looking down – these kids were probably no older than eleven. He'd seen about four of them around the orphanage occasionally, and he was fairly positive he'd beaten a couple of them up. But the fifth one – the one who had spoken and was now being shushed by the rest of the group – was a kid he'd never seen before.

"You new here, kid?"

"What's it to you, you girl?"

Mello felt a muscle under his eye twitch as the rest of the boys visibly paled. The cafeteria had gone nearly silent now; pretty much everyone could tell when Mello was about to rearrange some kid's face. "What did you call me, you half pint, snot-nosed little bitch?" Mello hissed, leaning down towards the kid.

The kid backed up a little, but held resolute. "You heard me. You have to wait in line, just like everybody else."

Mello reached down, fisting the boy's shirt in his hands and yanking him up to eye level. "Want a bet, you little shit?" he snarled, ignoring the sounds of the boy choking against the tightening of his collar. One of the braver of the other four tried to reach up and grab Mello's wrist; he ended up getting Mello's other fist in the throat as the blonde swept him to the side.

"Wait your turn, kid, I'll break your face next," he hissed, then smirked. "You need to wait in line, just like everyone else." Several of the other kids in the dining hall had stood and made kind of a ring around the small group; the cook had fled to go fetch someone with a little more authority.

"Ow! Watch it!" Mello was distracted by movement out of the corner of his eye – the next thing he knew, Near had grabbed his upper arm and yanked it backwards painfully, the movement making him drop the kid he was about to give a facelift to.

"What the fuck?!" Mello exclaimed, wrenching his arm out of Near's grasp and turning on him. "You siding with your fellow midgets now, Near?"

"No," Near said, with that annoyingly quiet and emotionless voice. "I'm just not siding with the arrogant, self-absorbed, bullying bastard."

They stared at each other for a long moment. Then Mello rolled his eyes, muttered a quick 'whatever', shooting a warning glare over his shoulder at the kids. Near sighed, moving his hand to play with his hair again.

"I've told you; you need to keep a reign on your temper, Mello. And you KNOW he's going to find out about it now…"

"Fuck off," Mello growled, shoving past Near and through the cluster of orphans, grabbing a handful of chocolate bars as he passed them. He then threw himself into his usual seat, putting his feet on the table as he unwrapped the first bar. Stupid Matt… if Matt had come with him, this never would have happened.

Near watched him walk off, still playing with his hair.

"Stupid jackoff… who does he think he is? Just wait until I tell Roger…"

Near turned around, cutting the boy off in mid-bitching. "You get Mello in trouble, and you shouldn't be so positive you'll wake up the following morning," he said quietly. He shot a glance over at the table where Mello was still pouting, then sighed quietly and left the room as the activity continued.

--

"L… I…"

Even though Matt had hoped L would offer the chance to him again, he was still surprised. He sat, looking into the detective's grey eyes, feeling slightly paralyzed by his gaze. Why was L looking at him like that?

"I… can't…" he finally managed to choke out as he averted his eyes. "I… I'm sorry…"

"Don't apologize," L said with a sigh, leaning back in his chair and placing his hands on his knees. "I figured that would be your answer." He smiled a little, despite the disappointed look in his eyes. "Now, would you mind terribly telling me why?"

Matt blinked at him before looking away uncomfortably. "W-well… uh…"

"Matt-kun."

"Y-yes?" Matt looked back at him, afraid he would find him annoyed all of a sudden. Instead, L just gazed at him evenly.

"Nothing you say will leave this room. Whatever you're worried about, even if I do end up having to deal with it, your name will not be mentioned. All right?"

"A… all right."

A knock on the door interrupted them. "Come in," L said quietly, and Watari entered the room.

"Excuse me, sir, but I have a message from Roger." He held up a small envelope, which L took with an extended hand.

"Thank you, Watari. Anything else?"

"Not unless you need something, sir." When L shook his head, Watari took the opportunity to bow himself out. Matt blinked a few times, looking from the connecting room, where he had seen Watari exit, and the door to the hallway, where he had come from just now. That man never ceased to amaze him…

"Oh, dear God," L muttered in exasperation as he looked at the note. "Mello…" he muttered, shaking his head.

Matt didn't say anything, but L could tell by his expression he was curious.

"It's nothing dire. Mello was fighting in the dining hall… again. I assume it's because you're not with him," he added, amusement barely audible in his voice.

"Probably," Matt muttered in his 'stupid-Mello' voice. "He always gets into fights when I don't go to the dining hall with him… then Near has to step in, and Mello gets pissed at him and bitches to me about it," he murmured, then shut his mouth when he remembered who he was talking to.

L laughed a little. "I'm going to take it that there's a lot of… tension… around here, is that it?"

"Y-yeah, I guess you could say that."

"Now, Matt, would you mind answering me now?"

"Well…" Matt sighed, looking away. "It's… kinda complicated, and a little childish, I guess…"

"I wouldn't think of it as childish at all, if it's enough for you to turn down my offer."

Matt flushed. L smiled.

Taking a deep breath, Matt continued, "Well, you remember that day, when you offered the position of successor to the three of us?" When L nodded, he continued, "Mello came in to talk to me afterwards, and he was really excited you'd chosen him, you know? And he started telling me that you had chosen both him and Near to be your successors. Then he told me that he and Near couldn't be friends anymore, because they had to be rivals now.

"When you asked me, I figured that if I accepted, Mello would do the same thing to me… I didn't want that, so I refused. I was also telling the truth; I know I'm smart, but I needed help all the time from Mello and Near with my homework and stuff. Back then, the three of us were really good friends, but I guess you already knew that…

"Anyway, Mello had decided that he and Near wouldn't be friends anymore, but I don't think anyone told Near. I… I feel really bad about it, even now, but since Mello wasn't talking to Near anymore, I didn't either. I knew… he didn't have any other friends, but I didn't want to lose my friendship with Mello, either…"

L sighed a little and raised his hand to his lips, tracing the contours with his thumb. "Though I can't really condone your motive, your reactions are completely understandable." Matt looked up in surprise. "I didn't say they weren't wrong, I said they were understandable," L continued, causing Matt to look back at his knees.

"I know they were wrong… and like I said, I do feel really bad… I do. But I don't really think there's much I can do about it now… is there?" he added, a little hopefully.

L cast him a sad smile and shook his head. "Not really, no. You have Mello pegged perfectly, from what I can tell – in his mind, you're either with him or against him; there is no middle ground. Except, apparently, where I'm concerned," he added, his suspicions confirmed when Matt nodded ever-so-slightly. "Also, Near isn't one who trusts easily to begin with. Once you've lost that trust, there's no telling if you could ever get it back, or how long it would take if it is, in fact, possible."

Matt sighed. He was afraid of that.

"Is… there anything else that's been bothering you, Matt?"

Matt looked at him before looking away, clearing his throat. "Uh… kinda, I guess… well…"

L leaned back, waiting patiently for him to continue. Matt cleared his throat again. Mello was going to kill him.

"Er… well, can I ask you something? You know, a purely hypothetical question?"

"Purely hypothetical?" L repeated, putting the emphasis on 'purely'.

"Yeah." When L nodded, Matt continued, "Well, let's say there's this… guy. And this guy has a friend, right? And this friend… well, okay, let's call the guy Guy One and the guy's friend Guy Two. So Guy One and Guy Two are friends, and they're… uh… best friends and everything, right?"

L nodded again, patiently. Matt sighed. He knew L wasn't stupid enough to believe that this was hypothetical – but he also couldn't bring himself to admit it out loud.

"Well, Guy One really likes Guy Two, not really so much as a friend, and Guy Two likes, say, Guy Three, right? But Guy Two can't have Guy Three, and that makes Guy Two really mad, and he takes out his… various frustrations… on Guy One." Matt looked away as he finished. Maybe he wasn't making much sense. Maybe L understood him perfectly. Either way, that was as clear as he could make it without mortally embarrassing himself.

"All right, I understand your problem. And I know exactly who you're talking about, Matt-kun," he added, sighing. "What exactly does Mello-kun do to you?"

"I… I never said it was Mello," he muttered lamely, shrinking under L's all-knowing gaze. "And… and even if it was, it wouldn't matter what he does – I just want to know what, if you were in Guy One's position, would you do?"

"Honestly?" Matt nodded. L looked thoughtful. "Well, normally I would say that Guy One should just find a new friend, if it hadn't been for the fact that you mentioned he really liked Guy Two as more than a friend. In that case, I would recommend Guy One try to talk to Guy Two about everything."

"Really?" Matt asked skeptically. L laughed a little.

"Really." He looked at the clock. "It's getting close to eight thirty. I would really like to talk to you again soon, Matt-kun. Perhaps after Guy One has taken my advice, ne?"

Matt flushed, but smiled a little. "Yeah… I'll see what I can do to convince him…"

L stood, extending a hand to help Matt up. As he stood, he couldn't help noticing the soft coolness of L's hand. Maybe he could understand what Mello found so attractive about the detective, after all…

--

Mello hurried back into the room at eight fifteen for a few quick touchups on his appearance. He supposed ten minutes of that, with five minutes to get to L's room, was plenty of time to make himself presentable. And to calm down. Stupid fucking brats. Stupid fucking Near. Stupid fucking Matt for not coming to dinner.

"Matt, would you look and see if you can find my bracelet?" he asked as he ran the brush through his hair. When he didn't receive a response, he turned to look around the room slowly. "Matt?" he repeated, blinking a few times.

He saw Matt's vest laying draped across his pillow, his DS lying in the middle of his bed. The pillows Mello had thrown at him earlier that evening had been tossed back onto his own bed.

Weird – Matt didn't usually go anywhere without his DS. That mysterious DS that he had gotten for Christmas one year, but never told him from whom.

"Matt?" Mello repeated, frowning. Maybe he was just in the bathroom… which meant he was going to have to find the damn bracelet himself.

He grabbed one of his numerous jewelry boxes and began rooting through all of the gold cross bracelets for the PARTICULAR gold cross bracelet he was looking for. He located it in the fifth box he looked through, untangling the chain and hooking it around his wrist. Glancing at the clock, he saw he still had five minutes to get ready.

Then again, he couldn't actually see anything wrong with his appearance, so he just sat and watched the second hand impatiently. Where the hell had Matt gone? He had ditched dinner to play his stupid game – now he wasn't even doing that. But if he wasn't doing that now, did that mean he hadn't been doing it at all?

Did that mean… Matt had lied to him?

Impossible.

Matt never lied to him.

He stood and left the room, determined to clear thoughts of Matt out of his head. He was going to go see L.

Mello headed up the stairs two at a time, rounding the corner sharply and stopping in front of the door. He heard muffled voices and paused. He thought he recognized L, but he couldn't place the other voice.

At least, he couldn't connect it to a face that made any sense.

As he raised his hand to knock, the door swung open and he found himself face-to-face with Matt. The two stared at each other.

Matt flushed guiltily, looking off to the side. "…hey," he said quietly before brushing past Mello. The blonde didn't move or make any kind of response. He didn't even hear as L spoke his name.

He turned and watched Matt descend the stairs as quickly as Mello had climbed them. Well, what do you know.

Matt had lied to him.

--


	4. Chapter 4

Forty, Love : Chapter Four

A Death Note Fanfic

Disclaimers: Uh… I dunno. Been a while since my last update – sorry, to the few people who are reading this.

--

"God, he's going to kill me…"

Matt paced around the room, pulling at his hair uncertainly. The look on Mello's face when he saw Matt leave L's room… yeah, the blonde was going to maim him. Not just hurt him – rip him limb from limb for lying to him.

He threw himself down on the bed, groaning and hitting himself with his pillow. "Gonna die…" he groaned into the fabric, rolling off the edge of the bed and landing with a 'thud' on the floor. "Ow."

He looked up as he heard the door open.

"What are you doing on the floor?"

Spinning around quickly, Matt managed to painfully spring back into a standing position. He winced and placed a hand on his back – that was gonna sting in the morning – and gave Near a sort of inquisitive grimace.

"So what if I am?" he asked, gingerly sitting back on his bed. "What are you doing in here? Mello'll flip if he finds you."

Near shrugged a little nonchalantly, twisting his hair around his index finger. "He won't be back for a while. I know he's talking to L."

"Why, he tell you that?"

"No, L did." When Matt looked confused, Near elaborated, "L always wants to speak to Mello first, because Mello would have a hissy fit if he didn't. He would say that L talking to me first was showing blatant favoritism, so he should just always talk to Mello first to keep things straight."

"…that doesn't make any sense," Matt said, trying not to laugh.

Near smiled just a little, nodding. "I know it doesn't. But Mello rarely makes much sense."

"Very true. Anyway, you didn't answer. What are you doing in here?"

Near perched on the edge of Mello's bed, one hand still entwined in his hair. "I was just wondering what L wanted to talk to you about," he said with a shrug. "Don't look at me like that – I know L wanted you to be one of his successors. For crying out loud, Matt, the three of us make up the smartest of Wammy's. I know you can't possibly be unaware of this – honestly, I would have been shocked had L not offered you the chance."

Matt sighed, rubbing his forehead. Yeah, even if Mello hadn't realized this, he shouldn't have doubted that Near would.

"He did… but I couldn't take his offer," he said quietly, twisting his neck to crack it.

Near watched him closely. "You didn't want Mello to treat you like he did me, is that right?"

It hadn't been an accusation – it was just one of Near's straightforward questions. "I…" Matt started, but then thought better of it. Near was smart enough to have figured it out a long time ago, perhaps even when it had started. "…yeah," he finally admitted a little sheepishly, looking away. "Look, Near, about that-…"

"Don't sweat it."

Matt looked back at Near, surprised. "Huh?"

"I know it wasn't your choice. I mean, yeah, it hurt, but Mello was always closer to you than I was. You would only have been able to be friends with one of us as far as he was concerned, and I don't blame you for going with the one you're… ah… closer to," the albino finished, looking away as he curled his hair around his index finger again.

Matt flushed when he realized what Near was saying, but didn't comment. "Anyway… I am sorry, dude."

"I said don't worry about it."

They sat in silence for a minute before Near got back to his feet.

"Mello'll be coming back soon. I'd better get out of here before he decides to… I don't know; force-feed my Legos to me or something."

Matt couldn't suppress a small smile at that. "That sounds like exactly the kind of thing he'd do."

"I know." Near's face didn't change at all, but Matt could detect the amused undertones.

--

"What was he doing in here?"

L gave Mello a mildly surprised look at the sudden accusing tone the blonde was taking. "Whatever do you mean, Mello-kun?" the detective asked calmly.

"I mean, why was Matt in here? How come you wanted to talk to Matt before me, huh, L?"

"I don't see how that's any concern of yours," the black haired man shrugged, turning his head to concentrate on the tea he was pouring. "I merely wanted to speak with him, that's all."

Someone started laughing. It was a laugh of disbelief, a little high-pitched, and extremely annoying. It wasn't until he noticed the way L was looking at him that Mello realized the sound was coming from his own mouth – he immediately clamped his mouth shut, his face flushing a bit.

"Mello-kun, this may surprise you, but I do things that you are unaware of, for reasons you won't discover. This does not affect the fact that I do care about you, but I have no reason to tell you everything."

Flushing a bit more, Mello kept his mouth shut, looking down at his lap as his hands slowly clenched into fists. He just wanted to know why. Matt didn't even like L. At least, he was fairly certain he didn't like L. And L didn't have any reason to give Matt more than a sideways, passing glance. After all, he, Mello, was the one who would succeed him.

Not Matt.

Never Matt.

"I was just curious," Mello said, his voice lowered to a barely-intelligible mutter. His eyes nervously darted from his hands to the door, and then finally settled on L's knee – a safe enough focal point, he had decided. "I mean, he is my best friend and everything. I just… you know… was curious."

"Jealous, you mean."

"What?!" Mello exclaimed as he quickly stood, bringing one clenched fist to his chest. "That's ridiculous! Why the hell would I be jealous of Matt?! That little computerphile has nothing to recommend him – I'm ten times better than him OR Near!"

"I don't recall mentioning Near-kun."

Mello blinked, his mouth clamping shut as the color rose on his cheeks again. However, it was true, as far as he was concerned. No matter how overly-passionate his exclamations had seemed, it was true. He was better than Matt. He was better than Near. He was better than everyone, except L, obviously. With a great deal of effort, the blonde forced himself to sit again, his fists clenching on his knees again.

"If you aren't jealous, you're doing quite a splendid job of pretending, Mello-kun," L said with a sigh, raising his cup to his lips and sipping his tea thoughtfully. "Besides, is it truly such a huge event, me choosing to talk to Matt? After all, he's a member of this orphanage too."

"I know."

"Would you prefer I neglected him?"

"… no…"

"Then what is there to complain about?"

Mello didn't answer. He couldn't answer, because he couldn't think of a way to tell L that he didn't want him talking to anyone else while he was here. He just wanted L to talk to him. That's all.

--

Near slowly ascended the stairs, his head bent as he stared at his feet. It wasn't an action he did out of shyness, but more force of habit and bad posture he'd acquired from years of sitting on the floor and playing with his toys.

He instinctively grabbed the banister as he heard hurried footsteps descending towards him. It proved to have been a good move – less than three seconds later, Mello's shoulder collided with his own and nearly sent Near careening back down the way he had come.

"Watch it," Mello snarled, glaring at the white haired boy.

"You," Near said quietly. "You're the one rampaging like a bull in a china shop. Whatever happened to that dainty composure of yours, Mello? Did L finally tire of you?"

Mello stared at him, not speaking for a moment. "… fuck you," he spat before hurrying down the stairs again. Near didn't respond, but continued up to L's room and entered after announcing himself with a brief knock.

"Mello's in a bad mood," he said a bit sullenly as he sat down across from L, his hand automatically rising to his hair, beginning to twist it around his index finger in the habit that so many found strangely irritating.

"He's usually like that. Aren't you used to it, Near-kun?" L said with a slight smile. Near smiled back, but didn't say anything. He just took the tea L offered and sat with him in comfortable silence, the way the two usually passed their meetings together.

--

"_He hates me!"_

_L stared down at Near as the boy continued to cry, gently patting the back of his head slowly. Near tightened his grip on L's waist, burying his face in the detective's shirt._

_"He hates me and I don't even know what I did!"_

_L truly didn't know what to tell him. All he could manage was a bit of a sigh as he sat down, pulling Near into his lap. At least the boy was still small enough for that._

_"I don't think he hates you, but you know Mello-kun is extremely competitive," he said a bit evasively. "Just give him some time, maybe he'll come around."_

_"Is it because I took your offer?" Near sobbed, looking at L with watery gray eyes. "I thought… I thought maybe… we could do it together! And Matt-kun… he won't talk to me either!"_

_"Shh," L said, his voice taking on a soothing tone as he placed one hand on Near's head, laying it on his shoulder and rocking the boy a bit. "Shh… it's okay, I've got you," he murmured, along with other meaningless but somehow comforting phrases. He truly didn't know what he was going to do with these boys._

_"Try not to think too much about it," L said as he pushed Near away a bit to look at him, reaching over and wiping tears off the boy's face. "Besides, you make friends very easily. Why don't you try talking to some of the other kids closer to your age?"_

_"Mello-kun and Matt-kun were the only ones who liked me," Near said, sniffling a bit. "No one else will talk to me. How come no one likes me? Huh?"_

_L sighed a little and shook his head, pulling Near back to his chest. "You're starting to get hysterical. Please calm down, Near-kun. And it's not that no one likes you. You just never gook the opportunity to get to know anyone else. This is the perfect time, isn't it?"_

_"I… I guess," Near said as he pulled back, roughly rubbing his eyes with the backs of his hands and hiccupping a little._

_L smiled a little at the boy and nodded. "Good, I'm glad you agree."_

"_Y-yeah…"_

--

"I hate you."

Matt's head snapped up as Mello's voice reached his ears. Damn, he hadn't even heard him come in the room. "Hey, Mello," he said a little weakly as he stood, facing his friend. Well, at least, he thought the blonde was still his friend. You really could never tell with him.

Mello slammed the door shut with enough force to knock the painting on the wall askew, but he didn't say anything. He just continued to glare at Matt; a glare normally reserved for Near. Okay, it was going to be one of _those_ talks. Clearing his throat a little nervously, Matt put his hands in his pockets and hurriedly glanced around the room. No knives anywhere in sight. That was a good thing. "So… uh… what happened?"

"You lied to me."

Oh, geez. Matt sighed a bit and closed his eyes. "I didn't lie to you, per se… I… I just wasn't supposed to tell you that I was going to see L, that's all," he said awkwardly, shifting his weight from one foot to the other and back. "I mean… I knew you'd act exactly like this if you knew he wanted to see me first, and…"

His words were cut short as Mello's fist connected with his jaw, sending the gamer back a few steps to smash into the wall. "You should have refused!" Mello yelled, clenching his fists. "You have no business talking to him! And you're really pissing me off, Matt! You're acting just like Near!"

"What the fuck?!" Matt yelled back from his position braced against the wall, one hand clasped to the reddening place on his jaw where Mello's fist had connected unexpectedly. "L wanted to talk to me! I wasn't going to refuse! And what do you mean I'm acting like Near?! How am I acting like Near?!"

"You're betraying my trust, dammit!" Mello practically screamed as he hit Matt again, backhanding him hard enough to knock his goggles askew. This time, Matt collided with the dresser hard enough to knock a jewelry box that had been sitting on top of it to the ground. The lid opened, necklaces and bracelets spilling across the floor in a tangled mess.

Silence prevailed over the room. Mello stood staring down at his friend, his sides heaving a bit from the force of the sudden anger he had unleashed. Matt groaned a little as he pushed himself up into a sitting position, blood running down his chin from his lip. Neither of them said anything. Then, still wordlessly, Mello turned on his heel and stormed out of the room, once more slamming the door hard enough to jar the paintings in the hallway.

--

Man, he was in so much trouble. First for fighting in the cafeteria, then for threatening Near, and now for beating Matt up. Now, while no one had actually witnessed it, it could be heard through pretty much their entire floor, and Mello had received the worst punishment he could possibly think of – all of his chocolate had been confiscated for a week. He was going to die.

Roger berated him for nearly a solid hour on his behavior and conduct, how if he didn't shape up he'd be in trouble the rest of his life, blah blah blah, until finally allowing Mello to escape back to his room where he would be stuck for the rest of the night.

Slowly trudging up the stairs, the blonde contemplated different things he could do to attempt to make his peace with Matt. After all, he knew the fight was his fault, and he always did something for the redhead without outright apologizing. That wasn't his style. Maybe he could steal another kid's DS game for him or something. That'd make him feel better.

"Matt?" he asked tentatively as he peeked into the room. Empty. Dammit. Sighing, he shut the door behind him and looked down at the bracelets and necklaces scattered across the floor before grabbing the jewelry box and sitting on the carpet, proceeding to untangle them and place them back. This took about two solid hours – he hadn't realized exactly how tangled these things were capable of getting – before he realized that one of his necklaces was missing. It was a black crucifix on a silver chain that he'd picked up at the medieval fair last year when he'd gone with Matt. Cursing, he began searching under the dresser and beds for it, wondering where it'd gotten off to.

A knock on the door surprised him enough to make him hit his head on the underside of his bed. "Ow… what?" he snapped over his shoulder, glaring a bit.

Roger opened the door and looked down at Mello. "What happened to Matt?"

"He was dropped repeatedly as a baby? I don't know," Mello said darkly as he rubbed his head, standing up. "Why do you ask?"

"Because someone saw him leave about three hours ago and, apparently, he hasn't come back."

--


End file.
